To the Bride and Groom:
We are glad you have selected Lutheran Church of the Redeemer as the place
of your marriage celebration. We welcome you as brothers and sisters in the
community of faith. In order that your marriage preparations go smoothly and
this blessed event be both beautiful and meaningful, we ask you to read this
booklet of guidelines.
A Word about Marriage:
In Christian marriage two people "by their promises before God and in the
presence of the congregation, bind themselves to one another as husband and
wife" (Lutheran Book of Worship). It is not the pastor who "declares" they
are husband and wife, but the man and woman's promise of faithfulness to one
another for life, that makes the marriage. This promise is made publicly
before God, family, friends and congregation as witnesses. The pastor is the
primary witness, and so also fulfills a role for the state.
Christian marriage in the context of the church is a worship service, and
not merely a civil ceremony. The invited guests are not mere spectators, but
participants in the service. God is at the center to be praised, and the
marriage service is a celebration of God's love, reflected in your love for
each other.
Reserving the Time and Date:
To reserve a time and date for your wedding, you will first be contacting the church secretary. At this
time you can discuss options of various dates and times according to the church calendar. The normal
time period allotted for a wedding in the sanctuary is five hours, which includes three hours prior to
the service for dressing and photographs. The time period is shorter for chapel weddings. The date and
time need to be confirmed with a pastor, in order to be reserved for your wedding.
Meeting with the Pastor:
When your wedding date and time have been confirmed, you will need to make an appointment with the pastor
officiating at your marriage service. Both prospective bride and groom should be at this initial interview.
In addition to making initial plans for your marriage service, the pastor will outline the fee schedule,
options we have at Redeemer for pre-marital counseling and "Prepare" evaluation.
The Wedding Rehearsal:
Once your marriage date has been confirmed with the pastor, arrangements for your rehearsal time will be made
in coordination with the church calendar. The rehearsal is usually set for the afternoon or evening prior to
the wedding, although exceptions are possible. For chapel weddings, a brief rehearsal prior to the ceremony is
often sufficient.
For weddings in the sanctuary, a rehearsal will be necessary. This rehearsal will take about one hour. The
purpose of the rehearsal is to acquaint the bridal party with their respective roles in the marriage service,
so all those who will participate in the wedding should be there (bride, groom, parents, bridal attendants,
groomsmen, ushers, etc.). The organist does not customarily attend this rehearsal, nor do musicians and scripture
readers. They normally rehearse on the day of the wedding, an hour prior to the service.
Please ask all members of the bridal party to be prompt. You will likely have made plans for a dinner following
the rehearsal, and you will need to begin "on time" in order to be done within the hour and proceed with your
planned evening.
Out of respect for the church sanctuary, we also ask that appropriate attire be worn (i.e no "tank tops", "cut-offs",
visors or baseball caps, please) at the rehearsal.
Marriage License:
Weddings are regulated by the state and a marriage license must be secured in Minnesota. You may apply for the
license at the Clerk of Court in any County Courthouse in Minnesota. There is a minimum of five days waiting period
in the State of Minnesota, and it can be applied for no more than six months in advance. Only one person need apply,
but he/she must have proof of age for both parties. If either party is under age 18, both parents must accompany that
party and both parents must sign the consent form. Anyone who has had a previous marriage license must bring a copy
of the divorce decree to the court. The fee for the marriage license must be paid at the time of application for a license.
You may give the license to the church secretary when the wedding fees are paid to the church (two weeks prior to the wedding),
or two or three days before the wedding. This is so the secretary can complete the license form and prepare the church marriage
certificate.
Two witnesses, normally the "best man" and "maid/matron of honor" sign the marriage license and church certificate.
The Day of the Wedding:
The time allotted for your wedding, pictures, receiving line and clean-up is five (5) hours. This means the church will be open
for you three (3) hours before the marriage ceremony begins, to allow you time to dress, take photographs, etc. We have allowed
one hour following the wedding for the cleaning of the church.
These five hours should be sufficient for all your preparations, photographs, and ceremony. If more time is needed, there will be
an additional custodial fee of $15 per hour.
Changing Rooms:
The bride and her attendants may change in the Choir Room in the Learning Center. This room is adjacent to the Women's Lounge. The
groom, groomsmen and ushers may change in the Men's Restroom next to the Women's Lounge, or in the East Transept room by the Undercroft.
Please DO NOT LEAVE CLOTHING OR VALUABLES in these rooms during the marriage service. Please pack them up and keep them in the locked
trunk of your car (not in the passenger seats). Have someone in charge of valuables or personal items at all times. Unfortunately,
people do "prey" on weddings, and we cannot take responsibility for anything lost or stolen the day of your wedding.
Guest Book:
A guest book may be placed in the narthex for guests to sign as they enter the church up to 5 minutes before the service. At that
time the book will be closed so your wedding may begin on time. Late arrivals may sign the guest book after the service or at the reception.
Gifts and Cards:
If gifts are brought to the church, the church assumes no responsibility for them. SOMEONE SHOULD BE IN CHARGE OF GIFTS AND CARDS AT ALL TIMES.
We suggest you prepare a card box for cards. Your gift attendant is responsible for this during the ceremony. The gift attendant should have
scotch tape in order to attach loose cards to packages. The bride and groom will appreciate this!
Rice:
The throwing of rice, confetti or birdseed is NOT ALLOWED inside the church building or anywhere on the church grounds. Only bird seeds may
be thrown or bubbles blown outside the building as the bridal couple leaves the church (if they do not re-enter the church, for this may track
the seeds into the church hallways).
Smoking:
There is NO SMOKING permitted inside the church, including the restrooms and dressing rooms.
Food:
Any snacks or food should be restricted to the Undercroft and the adjoining kitchen. No
food or drink may be consumed in the narthex or sanctuary. Please throw all pop cans,
candy wrappers or food bags in the proper trash receptacles.
Photography:
Your photographer may take pictures of your wedding party prior to the service in the church
sanctuary, the Undercroft, or other rooms you have reserved prior to the wedding. You will
want to be finished at least one-half hour before the service so your guests may begin being
seated, and so the participants can relax before the ceremony. Again, remember the church
will be open for your use three hours prior to the service. This should be sufficient time
for pictures. Please inform your photographer of this, as additional time would make an earlier
arrival time necessary, and there would be an added charge to you.
There are NO FLASH PICTURES allowed during the marriage service (with the exception of the
processional and recessional). Please inform the photographer and your family and guests,
with an announcement in your wedding bulletin.
A video tape recording may be made of your wedding, if the recorders remain in any of three
stationary positions: in the choir transepts, or in the balcony. No photographs or taping may
be done from the chancel area. Any moving around distracts from your marriage service.
The Sanctuary:
Please remember the sanctuary is the place of worship for this congregation. Again, we ask
that no food or drink be brought into the church sanctuary. No church "furniture" may be
moved around in the sanctuary, nor may any items the church has placed on the altar be moved
or removed (except by the church staff). Fresh flowers only may be placed on the flower stands
in the chancel. No other decorations (bows, etc.) may be added to the altar, lectern, pulpit
or chancel area, except for the Unity Candle and candelabra. Paraments on the lectern, altar
and pulpit may not be obscured or decorated, nor may the colors be changed (as the colors reflect
the season of the church year).
The pastor will remind you of these church policies and answer any questions you have at the rehearsal.
Thank you for your cooperation!
The Marriage Service:
The marriage service is above all a worship service of the church which begins with the conviction
that God's love is the basis for your love for one another. At the center of your marriage
service should be a proclamation of the love of God. An equal amount of importance should be
placed on preparations for the worship service as for all the other details of your wedding.
The service normally includes instrumental and vocal music, hymns, prayers, scripture readings,
and pastor's homily, in addition to your exchange of vows and rings. All these ingredients will
add to the meaning and beauty of your marriage ceremony. The pastor will assist you in these preparations.
A Sample Order of Service:
Prelude
Vocal Music (optional)*
Processional
Greeting and Opening Prayer
Scripture Readings
Vocal Music (optional here or before scripture)*
Marriage Homily
Vows
Exchange of Rings
Lighting of the Unity Candle (optional)
Vocal Music (optional)*
Prayers**
Lord's Prayer
Benediction
Recessional
Postlude
*All vocal music is optional. Hymns or instrumental music may also be used in the vocal music spots.
**Holy Communion is optional, and would follow the prayers with the sharing of the peace.
Scripture Readings:
You may choose your own scripture selections to be read in the service. A friend or family member may
read the scripture, or you may wish the pastor to do so. Following is a list of some selections from
the Old Testament, the Epistles and Gospels.
Old Testament
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Genesis 1:26-28 (29-31)
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The Creation of Humankind
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Genesis 2:18-24
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Man and Woman as One Flesh
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Isaiah 63:7-9
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God's Mercy Remembered
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Song of Solomon 2:10-13
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The Beauty of Love
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Jeremiah 31:31-34
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The New Covenant
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Psalms
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Portions of the following Psalms may be appropriate:
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Psalm 33
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The Greatness and Goodness of God
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Psalm 100
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Praise God All the Earth!
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Psalm 117
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All Nations Praise the Lord!
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Psalm 127, 128
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The Happy Home of the Faithful
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Psalm 136
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The Steadfast Love of God
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Psalm 150
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Praise the Lord!
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Epistles
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Romans 12:1-2, 9-13
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Marks of the Christian Life
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Colossians 3:12-17
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Living in Love and Thanksgiving
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1 Corinthians 12:31-13:13
(or 13:4-8,13)
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The Greatest Gift is Love
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1 John 4:7-12
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The Love of God
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Ephesians 5:21-33
(or 1-2, 25-33)
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The Christian Household
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Philippians 4:4-7
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Rejoice in the Lord Always
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Gospels
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Matthew 19:4-6
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What God Has Joined Together
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Mark 10:6-9
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Two Become One
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John 15:9-12 (or 9-17)
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Love One Another
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John 2:1-11
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The Wedding at Cana
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The pastor will relate the texts you choose to the theme of Christian love, marriage and faithfulness,
during the homily.
The Marriage Vows:
There are several appropriate versions of vows for your marriage, which give words to your mutual promise
of faithfulness to each other for life. You may choose the vows directly from the Lutheran Book of Worship,
or you may choose more traditional vows, or even write your own. The pastor will help you make your choice,
and show you some options.
Holy Communion:
You may request that your marriage service include a celebration of Holy Communion. As Holy Communion is a
sign of unity, the Sacrament is not appropriate unless the congregation participates. Under no circumstances
should the bread and wine be received by the bride and groom alone, to the exclusion of the congregation.
Holy Communion is appropriate when all guests are invited to receive the bread and wine, and can enrich the
meaning of your marriage celebration. However, you may need to consider whether all of your guests will feel
comfortable participating in the service of Holy Communion when deciding whether or not to include this in your wedding.
Music:
A Christian wedding is a worship service of the church, and we encourage family and guests to participate as well
as the bride and groom. The promise that the man and woman make to one another is central, of course, along with
the prayers and blessings on their life together. The various parts of the service also offer praise and thanks
to God for the gift of marriage and family. Music is one way in which we praise God.
The "Manual on the Liturgy" for the Lutheran Book of Worship reads, in regards to music in the marriage service,
that "...the music therefore must be carefully and discriminatingly chosen. It should embody high standards of
quality and the texts should reflect the praise of God, the steadfast love of Christ for his church as the foundation
and model for love and fidelity in marriage, the invocation of God's presence and blessing."
The music chosen may be instrumental and/or vocal. It may be organ music or other instrumental music, such as strings,
brass, wood wind, performed by a soloist or an ensemble. It may be music with text sung by a single voice, duet, small
ensemble, full choir, or congregational hymns.
In every case, music selected "should be of high quality and not cloud the mood of the service with triteness or sentimentality.
It should moreover be within the ability of the performers at hand to play or sing with assurance" ("Manual on the Liturgy").
While there are appropriate contemporary songs, remember that recordings of such music are made under ideal conditions with
sophisticated electronic equipment which we do not have available. Performing these selections on a pipe organ or piano will
not sound like the recorded selections.
As an "offering of praise and thanks to God", music in the church is performed "live" on instruments or sung by the human voice.
Pre-recorded music is not appropriate for church worship. Plan to use pre-recorded music at the reception.
Vocal music selections of a "secular" (not "sacred") nature, though often "beautiful" in themselves, are generally not appropriate
for a worship service, and are best used at the reception. Sometimes a secular selection may be sung prior to the service, before
the processional. Please consult with the organist before planning this, or any of your musical selections.
In summary, if you can answer "yes" to the following questions, the music is probably appropriate:
1. Does this music/text reflect praise and/or thanksgiving to God?
2. Is it based on, or does it reflect, a scriptural theme?
3. Is this song in the form of a prayer?
The church organist is a professional musician who will be of great help to you in selecting appropriate music
for your wedding. It is your responsibility to contact the organist to discuss the music (organ preludes and
processional, hymns, vocal music and organ postludes and recessional). The organist will help you to make an
appropriate selection, in consultation with the pastor.
The careful selection of music will help enrich your wedding service by making it even more beautiful, worshipful and memorable.
Hymns for Weddings:
There are several wonderful hymns that would be very appropriately used in your wedding. A hymn could be sung
as a processional, after the greeting/opening prayer, in place of special music, during the lighting of the Unity
Candle, or as a closing hymn (recessional). A familiar hymn is a great way to involve the congregation in your
marriage celebration and enrich its meaning. A few of these hymns are listed below.
Processional (or after the Greeting/Opening Prayer):
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Praise to the Lord, the Almighty
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(LBW 543*)
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Love Divine, All Loves Excelling
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(LBW 315)
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Lord Jesus Christ, Be Present Now
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(LBW 253)
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We Praise You, O God
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(LBW 241)
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Holy God, We Praise Your Name
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(LBW 535)
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Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring
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(LBW 219)
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During Unity Candle lighting (before the Prayers):
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Beautiful Savior
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(LBW 518)
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O Perfect Love
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(LBW 287)
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Hear Us Now, Our God and Father
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(LBW 288)
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Heavenly Father, Hear Our Prayer
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(LBW 289)
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The King of Love My Shepherd Is
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(LBW 456)
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Let Us Ever Walk With Jesus
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(LBW 487)
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O Master Let Me Walk With You
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(LBW 492)
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Come, My Way, My Truth, My Life
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(LBW 513)
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Praise and Thanksgiving
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(LBW 409)
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Recessional (Closing Hymn):
| Now Thank We All Our God
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(LBW 534)
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| Lord of All Hopefulness
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(LBW 469)
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| Praise, My Soul, the King of Heaven
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(LBW 549)
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| Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee
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(LBW 551)
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| Let All Things Now Living
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(LBW 557)
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